His grandchildren played and giggled around him in the afternoon sun.
He just sits there on an old white chair at the porch, looking over his garden and watching the going-on of the kids. A deep smile was on his face.
This is how I remember my Grandpa. The other day I asked myself how I want to be remembered when I’m gone.
I’m in my early thirties and most of my time awake is about career and money.” I want to be remembered as a man who did it”. That was my first thought.
Then my Grandpa came to my mind. How do I remember him?
I know he had a decent job and enough money to build a house. But in my memory, neither the job nor the money was connected to the person of my Grandpa.
He “did it”, but that was not at all the point for me to remember him. I do because he lived for the family, for his positive attitude, and for always being there for all of us.
How do you want to be remembered?
With this realization in mind, I asked myself how I want to be remembered. Is my current focus on career and money really the way I want to go?
I grabbed a pen & paper and came up with these values:
I invite you to do the same now.
Here are some guiding questions you can ask yourself:
- For what people are coming to you to seek advice?
- Which situations make you happy?
- What makes you feel strong?
- What compliments make you feel good?
- What makes you feel proud?
Take your time. Three to 6 values should be enough.
For inspiration, watch this video:
How do friends & family see you?
This can be a tough one.
First of all, you need to ask them how they see you today. Some people are not used to intimate situations.
If this is the case for you, let them do it in writing.
Secondly, chances are you get answers that are contrary to the values that you want to be seen. And that is okay. Even when the truth pill is hard to swallow – now you can start to change things and move in the right direction.
Alright! Ask five persons from your family and friends to answer the following questions about you:
- How would you describe me to a stranger?
- What do you think I am particularly good at?
- Do I have a skill that you envy me for?
- What’s bugging you about me?
- Is there a situation in which you have experienced me particularly strongly?
- What do I absolutely need to change?
- What is my single best trait?
Step 3: Become the person you want to be
Now you have the values you want to be remembered for as well as some insights on how you are seen today.
If that information is aligned – perfect, you’re already there.
If not, it is time to ask yourself how you can achieve your desired vision.
- You want to be seen as a family guy and your spouse tells you that you have not enough time for your kids.
Next step: Figure a way out to make more time for family.
- You envision to be remembered happy & optimistic and your friend tells you that you should worry less often.
Next step: Figure a way out how to get your worries under control.
Once you know the status quo, you can build your way up to be seen as the person you want to be.